To fight for, or not to fight for?? This is the question.
On one side of the coin, I think “fighting” for things is admirable, whether or not the outcome is successful. People that step up and speak out do change things.
On the other side of the coin, I have grown to place those who possess modesty up on a very high pedestal, who keep their opinions, morals, and goals on a much more personal level, and approach ‘fighting’ from a quiet corner where their efforts are small but steady. These are the types I wish to associate myself with….and the types I truly connect with. Talented or not, beautiful or not, “rich” or not, if there is some peacefulness or contentment within a person I think they just naturally ooze modesty.
There is something so particularly spiritual about this characteristic that my intuition often identifies it immediately upon coming into contact with someone new. A cashier in a department store the other day was just so kind and patient doing her job.. scanning the loads of crap I had to purchase, slipping it into the bags, scanning, bagging, scanning…. People who can do this for a living and still possess such a warm personality are inspiring to me.
My spiritual self has been feeling a *slight* void… some things in my personal life last year resulted in making a choice to leave a church where I have never felt so comfortable before in my life. I am confident that it was the right choice, and I keep getting this feeling like I should be working more with children, and helping them develop spirituality within themselves. I’m not sure when exactly, but I can see myself doing SOMETHING. For the sake of my son especially.. and to set an example to him. We talk a lot about God, moral values, the virtues, etc… but I really think sharing those feelings with others can be such a positive reinforcement, as well as a blessing [whether you are Christian or otherwise]. I do not believe that being a Christian should mean you are expected to be at church every Sunday…… but I do see a significance in attending for the purpose of conditioning your self-control, for education, for strengthening spiritual relationships, and for sharing your feelings with like-minded individuals.
All I know is, the more I condition this part of myself, the more at ease I am with things, the less apt I am to complain when something doesn’t go as expected, and the more contentment and modesty I can sense within. Its amazing when you’re in sync with things like this. And I’m not sure what this feeling I’ve been having is exactly but I feel like I could and should be doing something more, something more selfless. I miss tithing and knowing that the money was going to purchase learning materials for children living in poverty.
I’m not sure what all of your spiritual beliefs are, but whomever has read all the way through I do believe you have some sense of it or you would have lost interest some time ago.
And a quick professional revelation that actually has stemmed from personal feelings……..I have been told that my pricing for portraits is high, and that I must have quite an ego to be charging what I do for portraits; For a moment I started to feel some strange sense of guilt. Well.. in comparison to my competitors, it is just right, and in some cases, my prices are way cheaper! This is the only income I have… and I am the only employee.. meaning I do ALL the work myself; all the traveling, the shooting, editing, ordering, packaging, delivery, website updates, email correspondences, marketing, literature design, etc. And I love what I do but I am a perfectionist and I make sure that every image and every aspect of a person’s experience with me after being hired is as perfect as possible. So I feel my prices reflect the quality of service they are receiving… and I don’t feel guilty – so the people spewing their negativity can rest assured that I’m no longer feeling down on myself. In fact, I’m more confident now about my work than I ever have been 
